When You Want to be Someone You’re Not

I always wanted to be on the worship team. I wanted to stand up there with a keyboard or a guitar and lead people into the presence of God.

Actually, that sounds a lot holier than it really is. Here’s the truth.

I wanted the part.

If church were a movie, I wanted to play the role of worship leader. Why?

Well, the worship leader always has great hair. It’s true. And trendy clothes. I don’t know if those come with the job or if you need to come to the stage with them, but I wanted them.

And can we just say they sound great. I mean, they just always do. And people who sound great are pretty people, right? So, yeah. I want that, too.

Plus they lead. And people love it. They stand up front and people look to them as an arrow to the throne of God. I could be a great arrow if I had the hair and the clothes and the keyboard.

Even in the church we can get lost in the production. We can look around and envy the call of someone else. A call that is flashier, prettier, simpler, bolder, holier. We look around and think that is the call I should have.

I know what you’re thinking. Why don’t I just join the worship team? There’s a little problem in this worship team scenario: I’m really not a singer. I mean, in my car when “Livin’ on a Prayer” takes me back I’ll sing like a boss. But in reality, singing is not my gift.

So here I am looking around wanting a gift that isn’t mine for all the wrong reasons.

Have you ever wanted a gifting that really isn’t yours?

Sometimes it’s hard to be content in who we are. That’s really what this all comes down to. Contentment. When we envy something in someone else it means we are not content with what we have or who we are. But we don’t need to stay in that place.

When we envy something in someone else it means we are not content with who we are. But we don't need to stay in that place. Click To Tweet

You may know the verses about Paul and his amazing contentment. He was writing from prison and tells of how content he is in every situation.

I know both how to make do with a little, and how to make do with a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content — whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Philippians 4:12-13

I read this and I roll my eyes.

Not the encouragement you expected? I know, but I’m keeping it real. I skim over the first few sentences, rolling my eyes, and hold onto that last part: “I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.” I like that last part.

The truth is we can’t skip ahead. We can’t glaze over the work to get to the prize. 

When I really look at the verse instead of rolling my eyes, we can see that Paul didn’t come into this world full of contentment. He “learned the secret of being content.”

That tells us two important things:

  1. Contentment is a process to be learned.
  2. Contentment is not obvious.

This is something we need to learn. We need to uncover this hidden treasure of contentment, doing the work, going through the process. It’s not out there for all to see clearly. It takes effort.

Are you willing to put the effort in?

This is deep. And about far more than singing on a worship team. When we accept the process and put in the work we can learn this secret. We can grab hold of our circumstances and be at peace with it. And that is something that brings the freedom to do all things through Jesus.

Am I there yet? No. But every time I seek out more of this secret, every time I learn something new and choose to be content I am a little closer.

What little step can you take toward contentment today?

It's easy to look at someone else and wish you were more like them, like you could have their calling. But God has something else in mind for you.
#faith #calling #worship #church #serve #scripture


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Author: Rebecca Hastings

Rebecca is a writer and speaker encouraging women to find real faith that works in real life. A wife and mother of three in Connecticut, she can often be found typing words, driving her kids places or wherever there is chocolate.

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  • Yes, Rebecca, I have also wanted to be someone else…to have their calling and position. Oh, how this must make the heart of God sad. It reminds me of the parable of the talents in Matthew 25:14-30. Pastor Andy Stanley said when we stand before THE Master, we will not be able to say, “I wish you had given me the gifts you gave her.” Instead, the Master is going to say to us, “What did you do with what I gave you.” And that changed my perspective. Sometimes I still must rein my heart back to who I am and what I’ve been given. But it’s worth the effort, just like the contentment Paul possessed.

  • Oh, how well I know this feeling…
    And even with the microphone in my hand on a Sunday morning, I know that I don’t fit the profile of a pulled-together worship leader. (Is #SightReadSunday a thing?)
    I am continually convicted of my desire to BE someone I’m not and to DO that person’s thing as well as they do it. And then I remember God’s specific calling to me–and his design. Who am I to argue with Sovereignty and Providence?

  • I’m reminded of my high school days when I wanted to be a cheerleader. I knew that I didn’t have the talent for this but I wanted ti and I would put myself through those terrible tryouts only to be disappointed time and again.
    We must learn to be content and look for the talents we have been given and use them. I had musical talent and was much better being in the pep band and playing piano for the choir. It was great fun but I could have been much more contented if I had just seen that I didn’t need to be a cheerleader to be accepted.
    Thanks for this reminder about contentment.

  • Such a powerful and relevant message for me, Rebecca! It’s so easy to look the the left and right and compare what they have with what we don’t have. I simply need to keep my eyes ahead on all the blessings God gives me in my own calling not someone else’s. Thanks for this beautiful reminder, my friend! Pinned it!

  • Learning the secret of contentment is so valuable, yet so hard to do, depending on the circumstances. I’m sure you’re great at belting out Livin’ on a Prayer. 🙂 I’m hearing it in my head now. I’m currently working on being content with not knowing things. My daughter is due tomorrow with our 2nd grandbaby and I’m sitting on pins and needles waiting for her to go into labor.

  • Yes, I think we all have been there Rebecca but I think of the folllowing statement by Aslan to Lucy in Narnia’s; Dawn Treader when she tried to change into Susan, saying
    “Don’t doubt your value child, Don’t run from who you are!”
    As Lucy had introduced the others to Aslan through her belief.

    Its a stark reminder of our influence & witness to those around us through our testimony of faith, 😉
    Blessings,
    Jennifer

  • Rebecca, hi! Your wise words are reminding me of that verse, ‘godliness with contentment is great gain.’

    We’re all yearning to find our gifts and opportunities to use them that will make a difference. There’s a place for each of us and I love it.

    Meanwhile, you’ll find me sitting near the back …

    ;-}

  • So much truth here! I have always loved Philippians, and that verse has really stuck with me over the years as I struggle to feel content in my various roles. I’ve also felt envious of the worship team because their job seems so important and valued. It’s been a learning curve, but I realized last year that I truly do love my job as a greeter for the preschool class at my church. I get to welcome both kids and parents, and make the kids feel safe and seen. It’s a “little” job, but it truly helps the church family, and that’s the goal!

  • Yes, I have wrestled with this as well. I remember years ago in church one man saying he had always been taught to excel, and it was devastating at first to him to realize he was “just average.” But that’s where so many of us are, and that’s where God does a lot of work–in average people in average tasks.

  • I agree, it is so easy to look at others’ gifts and wish that we could do the same things they can instead of focusing on who God has made us to be. A gratitude list where I write down two or three things I’m thankful for each day is one thing that has helped me to work on contentment.

  • So good! I truly believe having a grateful heart lends itself to contentment! There is something powerful and empowering about focusing on what we DO have and giving thanks for it that helps steer our focus away from what we don’t have! Great post!

  • Rebecca, your last question caused me to pause and think before answering. “What little step can you take toward contentment today?” The answer came softly … I am going to thank God today for who He has made me to be and be faithful to do what He has called me to do. This was a good word, Rebecca!

  • Well, well, well. Noah telling Noah about the flood!!! That comparison thing is real and real dangerous, isn’t it? It is the fastest joy robber out there. I want to speak like so and so. I want to pray like her. I want to dress like her. I want my husband to be like hers. I want my house to look like hers. You know how I know all these things? Because I’ve got the tee shirt for each I want. It’s taken me most of my life (and you know how old I am) to be content with who I am, what I have, and the gifts God has given me. Count it all joy!! xoxoxo

  • I like the idea that we can grow in contentment. It reminded me of something I heard and use in counseling, “God doesn’t expect us to be perfect but He does expect us to be growing” based on Eph. 4.14-15. And each time we choose it, we can grow a little more. That should encourage us all.

  • Loved this, Rebecca! I think all of us can relate to secretly fantasizing about being someone we are not. How much better to relish the role God made just for us – that of being ourselves!

  • The hair comment made me giggle! I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to play a role in the ‘church movie.’ I don’t mind speaking up front, but I’d much rather sit in the back and leave during the closing hymn. I agree that contentment is a process–it takes years, some times. I used to wear makeup (raccoon eyeliner from the 80s, anyone?), color my hair, etc. Now? I wear mascara twice a year (maybe), haven’t colored my hair in 15 years (but grey seems to be the new blonde), and I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin. But that’s been a process of leaning in and listening to what God has to say about me and ignoring what the world says about me.

  • Oh, you are so right, that learning contentment is a process. I have found that just when I think I’ve learned to be content, then the season changes, and it’s a whole new place to learn being content in a different way. I’m so thankful that Jesus just keeps taking us deeper in learning to trust Him through it all.

    • I know! I often think, “Wow, I’ve got this!” And then the season changes, the page turns, the milk spills. And I see how much more growing I have to do. So grateful for grace along the way!

  • How often I admire the worship team and wish I could be like that, but every time I practice, my husband shuts the door! And as writers, don’t we all wish we could be like another writer…? Today is certainly a day where I need to embrace and be content with who God made me to be. Thanks so much for linking up with Grace & Truth this week, Rebecca!

    • Oh, I know the struggle of looking at writers around me and wanting to be them. Not like them, but to BE them. Or better. But God calls us to be exactly who He made us to be. I just need to remember that!

  • I was in the same boat. I wanted to sing for the masses, not necessarily God. I want to be rich and famous. The only problem, I couldn’t carry a tune. Next, I want to write the great American novel and become rich and famous. I may have shot at this one, but life is speeding by. I am content now to use my writing for God and not worry about fame. Well, I still secretly long to write that great novel, keeping it real. I find contentment and fulfillment in the process now. I hope I can touch one woman at a time and encourage her with my writing just like you do. I loved your post today. By the way, it was the most clicked on the #LMMLinkup this past week.

  • love all of this. first of all, I was “there” today and I’m old and should know better (heard a famous speaker lady is coming to our town and I rejoiced bc i know people will come in the hundreds, but I also thought, why didn’t they ask me? I’m a speaker. Pathetic, I know. They would need to worry about ticket sales if they had asked me. Ha. And I know that firs thought well. Contentment is process. But that second one is new: it’s deep and silent and people don’t notice. Except God. He notices and celebrates. Thanks, brilliant young friend.