Valentine’s Day Doesn’t Have to Feel Hard: 4 Helpful Tips

Valentine’s Day doesn’t always meet our expectations. Here are some simple things you can do that will help.

As I washed off my makeup I could feel the tears gathering in the corner of my eyes. Swallowing hard, I tried to ignore the prickling feeling in my nose as I held back the tears. I didn’t want to cry. I was fine. So, I didn’t get flowers. Isn’t that what I wanted?

I spent years insisting that I don’t want flowers for Valentine’s Day. After all, it’s just a Hallmark holiday, and they’re so overpriced, and I don’t really need them. Right?

The funny thing is, there was a part of me that wanted them. Despite everything I said, all of my arguments against them, flowers make me happy.

The idea of flowers on Valentine’s Day did more than ordinary flowers. They took all of my arguments and agreed with them. Yes, it feels like a Hallmark holiday. Yes, they are overpriced. No, they are not a necessity. And then they declared: you are worth it anyway.

February 15th is a strange day. It can be a celebration of relief, a day of gratitude that all the hype reminding us of unmet expectations and imperfect love is behind us for another 364 days or even a day of crying.

Maybe you didn’t have that someone special to share the day with.

Perhaps you didn’t get a sentimental card as you hoped.

Or maybe you spent the day alone.

No matter how you spent the day or the days after, a single day was never meant to bestow all the love you deserve for the year. Share on X

Valentine’s Day is every day and not at all. It’s the way we live out and love out, but sometimes we forget and we think it’s all about us. If we spend our time waiting for the perfect Valentine’s Day that revolves around us, we are setting ourselves up for disappointment.

If we make Valentine's Day about how and who we can love, we will have a fullness of heart that can't fit into a square on the calendar. Share on X

But we are human, aren’t we?

We watch the commercials and walk the aisles of red and pink for weeks building anticipation for something that will never fully be enough. So, how do we balance our humanity with our hope? How do we balance our head with our heart?

You Can Make Valentine’s Day Something Better

Stop looking in the mirror and start looking through the window. 

When we look at our needs, our wants, our hopes all we see is ourselves. When we start looking at the needs, wants, and hopes of others we can do something for them. That will always fill us up more than staring at our “stuff” in the mirror.

Put down the Valentine’s Day cardstock and pick up pages of life. 

Hallmark can sure pen a beautiful message. They can make us laugh or cry, pull at our heartstrings or give us hope. But nothing can bring as much meaning as the love letter written thousands of years ago. Find a few Bible verses and breathe them in, let them soak deep. Start with these: Romans 5:5, Psalm 136:2-3, Romans 8:38-39.

Be real, to a point. 

When a holiday like Valentine’s Day is hard there’s nothing wrong with being honest about it. But don’t stay in that place of discouragement. Make a choice to find joy and beauty and love all around you. Sometimes we need to make a choice with our head and let the feelings of our hearts catch up.

Find your voice. 

This is the most practical thing we can do. The people in our lives can’t possibly know every little thought or desire. Sometimes you need to tell them. It may feel awkward and forced, but the more you are able to do this the happier you and the people in your life will be. Say what you want for Valentine’s Day. And if you’re struggling afterward, say that, too.

Valentine’s Day is just a day. We have a choice of how to face it, and that decision will make all the difference. Next Valentine’s Day I don’t need to cry when I wash my face at night, and neither do you. Start by believing what God says about you.