New seasons always bring a sense of hope for what’s to come, a natural shift in the days and how things are done. But maybe it’s more than that. Maybe a new season brings you the permission you’re longing for.
I tend to kill plants.
It’s not that I try to kill them; I rather like plants. They’re so lovely looking and bring life into a space, both literally and on a deeper level that I can’t quite put my finger on.
I go back and forth about buying them until I finally decide “YES! I’m going to do it.” I bring home my new plant with the highest of hopes that this time will be different. This time it will live. This time it will bring life into my space and be lovely for years to come.
And then my husband sees me and shakes his head. I know what he’s thinking. He’ll be the one to water it. He’ll be the one to care for it. And I will soon forget about the green life I was so excited about.
It’s not intentional. But it has happened that way for decades.
But what if something changed?
These pandemic days have taught me a lot about myself and my space. They’ve made me feel both at home in my skin and like I’m living a strange life I don’t recogize. I’m not sure how both can coexist, but they just do.
In this new season of living, I’ve been craving life. Craving things that remind me of God and the intricate simplicity of His creation. I’m becoming more comfortable with the dichotomy of it all. Because the truth is seasons don’t always end chapters and move on. Sometimes our seasons linger, the previous allowing and making space for the new to begin.
But you have to give yourself permission.
- Permission to try.
- Permission to change.
- Permission to not fully understand.
I bought two plants.
Before you think I learned nothing from my previous seasons, I asked a friend who really knows plants: “which plants would be hard for me to kill?” I figured knowing and admitting my weakness was a good place to start.
I had spent weeks overthinking it until finally, on a trip running errands with my daughter, I was brave enough to give myself permission to try. (She may have given me the little push I needed, but sometimes we all need someone to give us a push.)
Maybe there are things you thought about yourself, true things even. Things that make you doubt or wait or hold back. But what if a new season is the perfect time to be brave enough to try to change?
You don’t have to change all at once. Take it slow, maybe just a plant or two for today. And see where the new season takes you.
Maybe all you needed was permission to give change a try.
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I kill plants, too. But I’m still going to keep trying, because it’s important to see living things in my home!
Yes! It sure is. Also, I’m glad I’m not the only one! LOL
I, too, am guilty of negligent planticide. I get dismayed when someone gives me a plant, because I know how it will end. Maybe I should ask about those hard-to-kill varieties, too.
There is something about a new season that raises new possibilities and hopes.
Ha! Negligent Planticide! that’s great!
Yes, Rebecca, sometimes we need a push and permission. I have tried many things I was on the fence with from a small push and some permission. Enjoy your plant.
I was given a small plant as a graduation present. That summer I was vacuuming the top of my dresser (I was dusting you see), when my hose got away from me and the plant was gone. I got other plants, and killed those too. Lack of water and not enough water. (I had quit dusting with the vacuum.) When I was newly married, a neighbor asked me to water and care for her geraniums in two large planters for most of the summer. I assured her that they would be killed by me, but she had faith in me. Gave me permission to try again. And even gave me permission to fail and accidently kill her plants. They thrived, and I was truly happy. I am still good at keeping outdoor plants alive. It’s the indoor ones who have about a 50 % chance.
I love this story about your neighbor’s geraniums! The more we can give one another that permission, the more we feel free to try!
I’ve killed quite a few plants myself. I love what you said about seasons of change and really starting honest. Low maintenance plants are what suit me. My aloe and my irises outside seem to be best for me. But I’m working on expanding this spring and summer with perennial vegetables (one or two—don’t want to bite off too much too soon :D). I may not be able to take care of just anything, but I can work on what I can do, right?
One little thing at a time, friend! You’ve got this!
the only plants that do well around me are asparagus ferns.
everything else just fades away sooner or later.
but ferns last forever.
love them.
I’ve never thought of ferns! I’ll have to try that!
Rebecca, I so appreciate this post. I also appreciate the reminder that sometimes, when it comes to change, we just need to start by giving ourselves permission to try. May your plants live long, green lives in your home! 🙂
Awww! Thank you!
I, too, have been doing some reevaluating. Change can definitely be good. And when it comes to plants, I too, have learned to find ones that are a little harder to kill. 🙂
Love that we are kindred spirits with plants (and so much more!)
Rebecca, I LOVE this post-it’s me. I kill plants all the time, and have likewise sought advice on which ones I might have a chance of successfully nurturing! I also like the thought of permission to change. So many times I am afraid to try and get stuck. Such a lovely way to think about it, new season, don’t have to make all the changes at once, this speaks serenity to my heart! Thank you!
I am so glad this speaks to you hope and serenity! LOVE sharing with you!
Rebecca, this is so beautiful! It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time…
Definitely rereading!
Well done 🙂
Thanks! I’m so glad you’re here!
Greetings from a fellow plant killer ;). I do ok with a garden, but indoor plants? Not so much. It always amazes me when I bump up against a false narrative I’ve used on myself for years and realize its untruths. We are all capable of change, but most of us need a push to give ourselves permission :).
That is so true Anita!