I hate even calling it quarantine.
Yes, I’m jumping right in with this season’s What I’m Learning post inspired by Emily Freeman. I find myself less likely to sugarcoat things lately.
Jumping right in.
1. Quarantine bugs me
I’m not even talking about the rules and being home and the changes. Quarantine, true quarantine, is far worse than what I’m going through. But that’s what everyone is calling it, so I adapt.
2. My feelings are all over the map
Feelings and I have always had a tumultous relationship. But lately, I feel even less in control of those stray emotions, thoughts, and struggles than usual. My solution? I’m trying to recognize it, to put a name to things so they don’t seem as daunting.
It’s like the monster under the bed that you can’t see. If I give it a name and am honest about what it looks like, it helps. It may not disappear, but it feels easier to handle.
3. I’m forgetting things
Usually, I’m great at keeping everything in order. I know everyone’s schedule, I know when things are happening, I know what I need to do and when. I hate admitting it, but I’ve let things slip a lot lately.
I messed up a work schedule, missed a school video meeting, and forgot to get back to someone. And that was just recently. I hate how it feels, but I’m trying to give myself grace.
4. I haven’t found my footing
This season feels messy and uncertain. I hate that feeling. I am still trying to find something that feels firm beneath me, but I keep coming back to talking to God about it.
Maybe that’s a good thing.
5. I’m not failing
Granted, I feel like I am some days. But I’m learning that there is no fail. There is no getting life wrong. There is only living. And whatever that looks like is okay.
6. I don’t know how to do this reentry phase
Shutting a lot of life down and being home with my people wasn’t super hard for me. Yes, I missed family and friends. Yes, I’ve had to adjust the way we do things, but overall, the choice to be home is one that makes me happy.
Reentry is another story.
I don’t know what I’m doing. And I don’t like not knowing.
7. I miss some things
Lunch dates with my husband, hugs from my mom, coffee with friends. Those are the things I miss the most. It’s okay to miss things.
8. Good things can happen in hard seasons
It’s easy to write off a hard season, thinking there is no good in it. I get it. But God isn’t in a hard season. He hasn’t changed. And He still brings good things in hard places.
9. I love some things
Less driving, more time, less shopping, more movies. I am loving some things this season. And it’s okay to discover things you love in the hard places. It doesn’t mean you want to stay in this place, it just means you are discovering beauty in it.
10. I don’t have the answers
I like to understand what’s happening, to see what’s coming and to have a clear plan. I especially like knowing the right answers.
Lately, I don’t have any answers, never mind the right answers. Maybe that’s never been my job.
I know the things we are walking through are different than we expected for our spring. But let’s find one good thing, one thing we learned, that we can celebrate today. Share yours in the comments!
I’m pretty sure that I’m checking off each and every learning you’ve mentioned, Rebecca. Especially not having answers for most everything! It’s good to know we’re not alone.
And the blogging community has been such a comfort as we move through this together.
I agree, the community we’re finding with one another helps so much!
C.S. Lewis’s word for longing (sehnsucht) and his definition of that sense if something missing has flitted through my mind countless times in this non-normative season. (I like non-normative cuz I’m sick of “unprecedented. “)
It’s longing that draws us into seeking, and I hope that stays with me forever.
YES! There are certainly pieces of this season I want to have a lasting impact!
I’m now in week eleven and ‘lockdown’ or quarantine for me has been a steep learning curve – I’ve started blogging!
It is a steep curve, isn’t?!
I know what you mean about the reentry being tough, Rebecca. Like you, there are things I’ve both loved and missed during shutdown, and I’m ready to get back to certain parts of life as things open up more. But I find it tough to be in kind of a “middle place” where we’re not fully shut down and not fully opened yet … much to adapt to! I think my best takeaway from all of this is just to try to live in this day, loving even the messes it brings.
Live in this day. Yes! Know you’re not alone in the hard places!
This is such an encouraging post, Rebecca! And I’m resonating with so much of what you’re feeling and have said. But the one that stands out to me is #8–good can spring from hard places. I’m praying that’s the case with the pandemic and the recent protests too. Praying God uses all of it for His good! Pinning this, my friend!
Thanks, friend. I’m holding tight to God in these places!
“There is only living. And whatever that looks like is okay.” love that comment! What I’ve learned in this season, is that as much as I like solitude, I do miss my Christian friends and community – more than I thought I would. But I am discovering a new online community!
I’m right there with you!
I resonated with each of your 10 things. Maybe you were reading my mind. LOL It is good to know I am not alone in experiencing and feeling this way.
A friend on the journey always makes it a little easier 🙂
Yes to this thought on failing:
I feel like I am some days. But I’m learning that there is no fail. There is no getting life wrong. There is only living. And whatever that looks like is okay.
ABSOLUTELY! 100 PERCENT!
LIVE well today, my friend!
I have seen some of the same things in my life. Like you, staying home is not that hard. I enjoy being home and never lack things that I want to do. I am glad to be able to see family again. I certainly have missed seeing them more. But finding the right balance as we get back to some kind of normal is a bit challenging. And there are some things for which I gained a new appreciation and don’t want to lose.
It so great when we can look at the good things we learn in hard seasons!
What I have learned is far more people are motivated by fear than faith and that just makes me so sad. I agree that there is always good found within the bad, but you have to be open to it. We are living in some difficult times because of all the fear. The enemy is having a field day and God’s people need to step up and get busy.
Fear is such a beast. I’m learning to keep going to God. Grateful we can encourage one another to step up in confidence!
I relate to every point!
So glad I’m not the only one!