I’ve deleted and retyped portions of this post over and over. It still feels scary, but I’m publishing anyway. This is not a cry for ego stroking or a pity party. This is real, and I hope you can be real too.
I’m really good at going through my day, my week, my life happy. I’m great at being real enough that I don’t portray perfection, but not so real that we actually discuss the messy stuff.
The problem is that on some level, I’m pretending. I’m pretending everything is fine. I’m pretending I don’t get jealous and envy what others have. I’m pretending that my anger doesn’t claw its way out of me on a regular basis. I’m pretending I don’t pretend.
It’s like I spend my life washing one side of my hands only to hide how dirty the other side is.
But this is why I’m here. It’s time to be real, really real. But it’s not for me. There is one reason you should know what’s in my heart and yours.
So people can see Jesus.
If my mess is the very thing that brings glory to God, am I willing to show people?
Before we can get any further in our Heart Cleaning we need to dig in our heels and decide it’s time to dig out. It’s time to empty every shelf, closet, and let light under the layers we’ve built up in our hearts.
It won’t be all bad. Sometimes we find treasures and old gifts among the broken pieces and things we’d rather leave hidden. Right now we don’t need to decide what’s what. All we need to do is decide to go through it all.
If my mess is the very thing that brings glory to God, am I willing to show people? Click To TweetWhen I dig out I find so many things I don’t like.
- I get jealous of what other people have
- I am insanely insecure and fear those I love leaving me
- I get really mad sometimes
- I wish my house was nicer, newer, prettier
- I wish I was nicer, newer, prettier
- I don’t always like church
I find a few things in there I’ve forgotten, too.
- I am a good leader
- I am smart
- I am good at baking
- I am happily married
- I am a good mom
When I take all of this out and line it up in the light it’s not nearly as intimidating as when it was in the crooks of my heart.
Get it out into the light. Then we can decide what to do with it.
Lord, help me unpack all the stuff.
I give you all the good, bad, and everything in between because I long for your to make something beautiful out of all the pieces.
Thank you for loving all the parts of me.
We’re working through a Spring Cleaning for our Hearts together. Check out the other posts here!
Sharing words with these great writers! Visit them to be encouraged today!
Literacy Musing Mondays, Purposeful Faith, Tea & Word Tuesday, Abounding Grace, Trekking Thru, Tell His Story, Porch Stories, Let’s Have Coffee, Worth Beyond Rubies, Moments of Hope, Tune in Thursday, Dance with Jesus, Fresh Market Friday, Faith ‘n Friends, Blogger Voices Network, Grace & Truth, Heart Encouragement
Phew.
Yes, we have to put it all out there for Him, and He uses it all (to our surprise!).
We do have a lot in common . . .
🙂
For what it’s worth, I think you are nice, new AND pretty!
And I struggle with every one of those things you listed. Keep cleaning, friend!
We’ve all got work to do. Glad for grace and friends along the way! 🙂
I pretend I’m not pretending. Now that’s a convicting statement!! Whew. Pondering that. Thanks Becky! Praise the Lord He can be trusted with our mess.
He sure can! (even when I’m not so sure!)
Real and heartfelt post Rebecca and one that echoes what many of us feel at times. Thanks for sharing and showing us its good to clean things out!
Thanks Jill. I’m glad you’re here!
Rebecca, I saw a promo for this post last night on IG so I’m glad you were my neighbor at Debbie’s today. Good post. Time to come clean. I am much older than you but I have come to realize that everyone’s “something” looks different. God has gifted us and lifted us to a place where our gifts will be used and seen by exactly who HE DEEMS should! Because once again it’s not about us. Every time I have been envious of someone – something happens and I realize “well I didn’t have what so and so had but I’m blessed to be where and have exactly what God has given me.” Sorry, I’ve written a blogpost in your comments!!! xo
It’s not about us! AMEN!!! (and you’re free to write as much as you like here friend!)
The first step in accepting God into our hearts is to be honest with ourselves. A good spring heart cleaning is wonderful for the soul. Getting our faults and strengths into the light is a good idea. Thank you for this honest post. I can understand why it must have been difficult to write.
Thanks Laurie. Honesty is important in so many ways!
Another great post Rebecca 🙂 THANKS! Tweeted. Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
Thanks Patsy!
Rebecca, I’m right there with you. I can totally relate to the “just enough not to look perfect but …” Transparency is so hard but the only way to real intimacy with God and others!
Amen friend! Amen!