It’s hard to watch someone else get your dream, or even something close to it. We may smile on the outside, but inside, we can be struggling with doubt, insecurity, anger. Believe me, I know.
There’s this writer who has been in the spotlight. There’s the book and the book club and the speaking. There’s even OPRAH. Like I said, spotlight.
And I’m mad.
I’m not jealous, exactly. I’m happy for her. Really.
But here’s the thing…she bleeds honest. On the screen, on the page, on the stage. She bleeds real and true and raw and….that’s what I want to do.
But I hold back. I’m scared.
I don’t want what she has. I want something that’s mine. But when your dreams look so similar it’s hard to cheer for the person that’s ahead of you in the race.
And here’s the thing that makes it so I’m not truly jealous: this writer makes me face the dreams I didn’t know I had, the ones I don’t tell anyone because they sound so big, too big. Outlandish even.
And all these dreams that we pretend we don’t have in our attempt to keep them small, well, if they’re not big enough, we don’t need God. If it’s something you can accomplish all on your own with minimal elbow grease, and even less dirty knees, it’s not really a God dream.
The best dreams are covered in sweat and smudges and sore places. Those are the dreams that we worked for.
And the secret…her dream is not your dream.
Yeah, I know, it feels like it is. But there’s something different about your dreams. Something that is uniquely yours. It can feel hard to see someone achieve her dream when it’s so similar to yours. But the truth is her dream will never make you happy. It will never be you walking in your calling.
Maybe it’s time we stopped looking at one another’s dreams and starting believing in our own.
Some great books that helped me on this path are:
You’re Made for a God-Sized Dream
Love this thought, Rebecca, “The best dreams are covered in sweat and smudges and sore places. Those are the dreams that we worked for.” So true. I often wonder why we are hesitant to dream big with God, because He’s the biggest dreamer of all.
He Is! And I forget that all the time!