I like to know the right answer. I’m not talking about on tests or anything (although that does make me happy). I like to have the right answers for life.
It doesn’t matter if the decision is whether to buy a house or a new flavor of ice cream. My mind starts running circles with all the possible outcomes. That might make sense with bigger decisions, but this happens with everything.
- If I buy this ice cream will I like it?
- If I like it will I like it as much as mint chocolate chip?
- Should I take that risk?
- But what if it could be my new favorite ice cream?
- What if . . .
Yes, I know it’s just ice cream and I know it’s not a big decision but this is what goes on in my head. I blame it on being a creative and that it’s really a blessing that God made me this way, with a head full of ideas constantly spinning.
But the truth is, it can be exhausting. Especially when it’s about something more important than ice cream. (Although I wonder if there really is anything more important than ice cream, but that’s for another day.) It happened all the time.
I Just Didn’t Know the Answers
When I worried about whether to take my daughter to the doctor or whether to let my son play football.
When I stood in front of my closet staring at my clothes trying to pick the just right outfit for a random Tuesday.
When I looked at a menu to decide what to order for date night dinner.
When I needed to decide whether to look for a job or keep pursuing my writing.
I’m Not The Only One?
Honestly, I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I was so afraid of making wrong choices, of getting it wrong, of not knowing what the perfect answers were. And then I read this:
You are allowed to choose something and you are allowed to change your mind.
Emily P. Freeman, The Next Right Thing
Let me tell you, this was what I like to call an exhale moment. It wasn’t a light bulb, that would be too high energy for me. This was a permission to settle deeper into the part of my soul that I stir up with all of my wondering.
The exhale felt good.
Freeman’s words were giving me a permission I never knew I was seeking. She goes on to ask the question:
What if your next right thing is to settle in right where you are and come back home to yourself?
Emily P. Freeman, The Next Right Thing
And another exhale.
In a world full of try harder, do more, be better, bootstrap gospel preachers, Freeman brought the peace my soul was longing for.
Are you struggling to make decisions?
Maybe it’s ice cream decisions or maybe it’s something more, something deeper with more at stake. Maybe your decisions affect other people or maybe they affect you in ways you can’t even pinpoint.
No matter where you stand, you can find that exhale in your soul. It’s simpler than we think, but it doesn’t happen on it’s own. The secret?
Just do The Next Right Thing in love.
I cannot recommend Emily’s book enough. The Next Right Thing is gentle and it lives up to the subtitle: A Simple, Soulful Practice for Making Life Decisions. (Big or small.)
Find out more here.
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Love, love her podcast. And Excited because my book is arriving today!!
It is so easy to get caught up in wanting to make the right decision. And often times there is no right or wrong choice. I remember being newly married and my husband giving me the assignment of getting snow tires for the car. Well I had never bought tires before and was afraid of making the right choice. There was no google to ask back then, so I fretted. He told me to talk to a couple dealers and just make a choice. He had complete confidence I would choose a good middle of the road snow tire. “And what if I don’t? I asked.” “Then see it as a learning experience of a couple hundred dollars. No big deal,” he said. That experience taught me not to sweat so much over the small decisions.
I just got mine in the mail! And it’s really weird, but she has mentioned that it has a really cool book smell and she is absolutely right!
And your husband sounds a lot like mine 😉
Great post, Rebecca. We think we want freedom, but sometimes the more choices we have, the more conflict it brings. I usually don’t have trouble making choices, my problem is I sometimes make rash choices and later regret them. My hubby and middle son agonize over every choice. I think that’s why my son waited until he was in his mid-thirties to get married. He was mulling over all the options! 🙂
Excuse me . . .JUST ice cream???
I can’t wait to read this book because I love Emily’s voice on her podcast, so I’m sure I’ll love being able to slow it all down and read and re-read.
I think you’ll love it!
Right there with you. I not only want to know the right answer, but I also take it a step further and want to know all future right answers. . . Creativeness and Anxiety are not a good combination.
Yes!!! I want all the answers for past, present & future. All the right ones. All the time! 🙂
Reviews for this book keep turning up everywhere – perhaps I am supposed to read it:) And, yes, making decisions (or the overthinking of them) can be draining!
This book is gold. And not in the way that it gives you 100 more things to do. It meets you.
This was interesting to read, Rebecca. And insightful too (it’s such a relief to know the struggling-to-decide comes with being creatives)! Thanks for sharing. Many blessings to you!
It sure does! I didn’t realize it for a long time, but I finally get it!
I love this post Rebecca! Adding this book to my reading list. THANKS! BTW, “If I buy this ice cream will I like it?” Is ALWAYS YES for me! LOL, we are in the midst of wedding planning and there are a few people around this house that really need this! Thanks for linking up at InstaEncouragements!
It is fantastic. I’m already looking forward to reading it AGAIN!
I definitely need to read this book, Rebecca. Hopefully the 16 other people ahead of me on the library hold list will read fast! Thanks for sharing your thoughts … 🙂
I am a library girl through and through. I’ve been on plenty of wait lists! Don’t give up — It’s worth it! 🙂
Permission to change your mind makes a huge difference. I’ve been learning that lately, not just in decision-making, but in other things. In blogging, for example, I can become paralyzed because I’m afraid of doing something wrong. But the thing is: I CAN CHANGE IT LATER. I’ve been working at just taking a step, starting, and redirecting as needed. It’s actually been a lot less scary than I expected.
That’s such great advice, Jana! We tend to think life is so black and white, and that the things we choose are permanent. Very few things in life are. It brings such freedom when we learn this!
Love the self love message. Can’t do that enough.
I used to worry like that, I still have my moments, it is no way to live in constant fear and anxiety, no wonder He says to be anxious for nothing.
Amen! I’m not always good at that part though!
Sounds like an amazing book!
It really is great!
The time to choose the better and sit with the Lord always brings clarity – and the chance to breathe. Loved this, thank you!
It sure does!