I’ve spent a lot of my life apologizing. And I’m not talking about the true “I’m sorry” when I’ve done something wrong. I have apologized for things I was never meant to apologize for, things that are not wrong.

And I it’s time I stop.

Here are 5 things I’m done (or I want to be done) apologizing for:

My Size

Yeah, I’m going there. Start with the biggest one in my life (no pun intended.) I’ve spent my life apologizing for the size of my body.

Maybe I don’t say it outright, but I say it when I won’t try on the dress I love or refuse to buy a new pair of jeans because I don’t like what the tag says. I say it when I walk into a room and hunch my shoulders to make myself smaller. Since the fourth grade when I was the first one to wear a bra, I learned to hide in the clothes I wore or the way I sat. I’ve had enough trying to shrink. (I even wrote a love letter to my body!)

Big Feelings

This piggy-backs right off the way that I began shrinking in the fourth grade. I feel. I feel big and loud and messy.

I’m a loud laugher and a big crier. I easily switch from laughter to tears and back again.

My emotions are big and I always thought that was bad. Turns out, it’s how God made me. And that is beautiful.

My House

Fixer Upper, HGTV Dream Home, This Old House. They’re all fantastically beautiful. Still,I feel simultaneously inspired and not good enough when I see them. In a town full of mini-mansions by the beach and historic homes around the quaint New England green, my blue ranch seemed pretty plain. And I hated feeling that way.

So, every time I drove up my driveway I began saying things like Hello, beautiful blue house or Thank you God for this amazing home. Pretty soon, my heart caught up to my head and I fell in love with our amazing house. 

Learning to love your house makes you feel at home.

Small Circles

I thought everyone had tons of amazing, life-long friendships. That’s what high school taught me at least. So, I spent my life feeling like there was something wrong with me because I couldn’t seem to figure out the great big circle of friends thing. The truth is, I’m not supposed to. 

God made me to like small and intimate. It’s who I am. Give me my little circle of people and I’m good.

I’m finally learning that there’s nothing wrong with that. And the whole life-long thing….well, that’s for one relationship. The rest may come in seasons, and that’s ok too.

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My Marriage

Here’s the one that’s touchy. I have more friends with marriages that ended than friends that are still together. And that makes me sad. It is not a pity sad. Rather it is a genuine sadness for the loss of something that should be beautiful.

I’m still married. Happily. Not every moment is happy, but I still choose my husband, and that’s a good thing. 

I won’t apologize for staying home on the couch with him instead of chasing that circle of friends. If we hire a sitter, we may choose time for just the two of us instead of heading to a party. We genuinely like each other, and I want to keep it that way.

My marriage is one of my favorite things. For real.

Maybe this list is just the beginning. We can embrace who we are instead of apologizing for not being like the person next to us. Maybe it’s time to be ok with that.

What are you tired of apologizing for?